From Confused to Confident

A Very Desi... Christmas?

By Roopika Risam

There are candles in each window. Mom is in the kitchen making tea and
Dad is outside stringing lights on the trees and bushes. But no, it's not Diwali--the Risam family is celebrating Christmas, a tradition that began 33 years ago when my parents left India and moved to England. When Dad comes inside, we will decorate the tree with ornaments dating back to the first Christmas tree in the '70s (and yes, the ornaments do look like disco balls). At the top of the tree, we will place a peacock, the state bird of India, because an angel or star would not make sense in a Sikh household.

Mom claims that our family celebrates Christmas for my sister Monica and me. Monica once pointed out that she was in utero for Christmas, 1971, so she hardly could have asked for a tree. Christmas is an important holiday for us; we give each other presents, gather together for quality time, make a large turkey dinner and spend the day watching movies. This year, Monica has to go to her in-laws house for Christmas and my parents are crushed.

Some South Asians believe that celebrating Christmas assures that their children will not feel left out when all their little friends are getting presents from Santa. This attitude is susceptible to criticism from Christians who believe that it should be a primarily religious holiday. Many South Asians, however, see Christmas as more than just gift-giving and large meals. Christmas is a time when family members can gather together and enjoy each others' company. Because Christmas falls on school holidays, families can travel together and reconnect. Thus, Christmas for the non-Christian is saved from being a purely materialistic event.

But it's not just Christians who fight for cultural meaning; there is the segment of South Asians who believe that participating in Christmas-related activities is a cultural nightmare. They fear that their children will lose sight of holidays like Diwali and Vaisakhi, eschewing them for Christmas. Concerns about Christmas really reflect a larger problem: fear of assimilation. It is essential to maintain cultural traditions, but Indian families, for examples, often worry that engaging in truly "western" activities such as celebrating Christmas might be the first step towards "boyfriends... babies... smoking pot," to paraphrase Meera Sayal's Anita and Me (2002). Instead, these families often celebrate Indian holidays with gift-giving, allowing Indian youngsters to run around saying, "It's my new year today! Did YOU get any presents?"

Incidentally, last Christmas, my uncle, aunt and their two children visited my house and had to listen to my five-year-old cousin say, "We're not Americans. We're Indian. I hate Americans. They are fat. And they smoke." My mom left me alone to deal with his identity crisis. Perhaps if more parents realize that it is possible to be an Indian-American (love that hyphen), they could celebrate Christmas as an American holiday, rather than as a Christian one. Holi, for example, does not have a religious significance to Sikhs, but it is still celebrated by many Sikhs as an Indian holiday. Why not do the same for Christmas? From fully-decorated pine trees, to potted plants with a few ornaments to no tree at all, all Indians should take advantage of the Christmas holidays as a time for family, whether Santa comes to visit or not.