1) Keep things
in perspective. As mere mortals we rarely, if ever, have
control over the outcomes of many situations. What we can control
are our reactions to the way things turn out. Next time something
goes not-quite-as-expected, take a moment before you react and ask
yourself three things: a) Could this have been worse? b) Am I nevertheless
closer to what I originally wanted? and c) Did I still somehow get
what I wanted? If you answer YES to any of these three questions,
you’ve already changed your perspective to be more positive.
2) Don’t forget the regret factor.
When you are torn about whether or not to take action, always ask
yourself, “10 years, 1 year, one month from now, will I regret
doing this or not doing this?” More often than not, people regret
having missed an opportunity more than they regret having taken a
chance. Remember, there is satisfaction in trying and failing. Never
trying is often the only real regret.
3) It’s rarely about you. Why do people care
so much about what others think about them? This article isn’t
long enough to get into that, but all you need to remember is that
people, by their very nature, tend to care more about themselves than
you. So next time you start wondering what others will think about
your choices, a good guess is that they’re not thinking about
you at all -- they have their own lives to think about.
4) Money is not important. Numerous
studies on happiness have shown little or no correlation between money
and happiness. South Asian Americans, like so many immigrant groups,
often have it engrained in their minds that monetary success equals
happiness. It’s our responsibility to dismiss this age-old myth.
Next time you find yourself sacrificing your friends, family or even
time alone to earn some extra cash, ask yourself, “Is this making
me happy?” If the answer is no, then take some time to leave
the office and have dinner with loved ones -- just keep it inexpensive.
5) Realize you might already have what you want.
Ever find yourself running toward something and not being exactly
sure why you want it or even if it is YOU who actually wants it. Take
some time each day to evaluate where you are and where you want to
be -- you might just find that you are already there.
6) Eat well and stay healthy. You’ve heard
it a million times: “If you don’t have your health you
don't have anything.” Your health is comprised of physical,
mental, spiritual and emotional elements. Keep all four in good shape
by exercising and maintaining a proper diet. Mental relaxation, having
faith in something more powerful than yourself and keeping a solid
network of close friends and family complete this simple recipe for
happiness.
7) Know the “why.” We all have goals.
What we need to know is why we want to reach those goals. You might
achieve your goal or perhaps never reach it, but before you venture
out, make sure you know the purpose behind the goal you are seeking.
So long as you achieve the purpose, the goal itself is not important.
Remember, the “why” is always more important than the
“what.” Always ask yourself WHY.
8) Pride has no value. We are living
in a country where the divorce rate has exceeded 50 percent. It's
not just that a lot of people have ego issues -- the truth is that
we all have them in varying degrees. But to keep ourselves in check,
we need to ask ourselves when we believe we are right in principle
and when we think we are right solely because of our pride. The more
we minimize the latter, the more happiness we can enjoy. Be aware
of when you are right versus when you are prideful.
9) Admit when you’re wrong and then fix it.
When you know you screwed up admit it -- say, “I’m sorry,
I screwed up.” People will respect you for it. After you admit
your mistakes, remedy them. People will forgive you. It works like
magic. (Doctors, please speak to your malpractice attorney before
admitting anything.)
10) Let the pursuit of pleasure rather than
the fear of pain drive you. Motivational speakers such as
Anthony Robbins teach us that humans take actions for one of two reasons:
1) to avoid pain; or 2) to gain pleasure." When an opportunity
comes around, too many of us ask, “What if things go wrong?”
Instead, make your first question, "How great would this be if
everything worked out?" Remember, we drive toward what we focus
on, so let your focus be success.
11) Smile and laugh. Is it really the best medicine?
Who knows? But it sure as hell makes you feel good. If you smile at
people, they WILL smile back. Laugh until it hurts -- this is the
type of pain worth suffering. Some problems don’t have solutions,
but laughter eases the blow. Be sure to laugh at least once daily.
Join a laughing club if you can’t get there on your own (yes,
they really do exist).
12) Realize what and who you control and
what you cannot. Whether you learn it now or later, you will
eventually discover that you only control one person: Yourself. Remember
elementary science, basic cause and effect. Humans react to stimuli.
When you act a certain way, people react accordingly. Next time people
argue unreasonably with you, tell them how much you love them. If
they keep yelling, tell them why you love them. If the argument continues,
show them how much you love them -- I’m suggesting a hug just
so we don’t have any misunderstanding. It is near impossible
to stay mad at someone who loves you. Remember, you can't change someone,
but you can change the way he or she reacts to you! A book I recommend
which goes deeper into this topic is That's Outside My Boat
by Charlie Jones and Kim Doren.
13) Never lose your integrity. When
all else is gone, you will always have your integrity. If you promise
something, deliver it. If you cannot get something done, be honest
about it, even if the other person doesn’t want to hear it.
Your word is your integrity, so guard it closely.
14) Practice random acts of kindness. You’ve
heard it a million times -- now try it. You don’t have to become
the next Mother Teresa. It’s the little things that people notice.
Holding a door open for someone, thanking a cashier by name, smiling
at someone for no reason other than to have him or her smile back
-- remember, you could be making someone’s day without even
knowing it.
15) Get over it! If it’s done, it’s
the past. You know you can’t change it but you can still control
how you deal with it. Now’s a good time to scroll back up and
take a peek at number one once more.
16) Be grateful. This is the most
important rule of them all. Set aside some time every day, whether
it's five minutes or an hour, to remind yourself of what you have
and what you are thankful for. Every day we achieve and learn something
new; let’s appreciate it.
It’s action time! Take one item from above
that hit a cord with you and start applying it TODAY. I’d love
to hear back from you about how applying these principles have affected
your life. Please feel free to email me at sameer@sameerkumar.com.
Sameer Kumar is in the business of helping individuals achieve personal
success in life. He is the managing partner at the law firm of Kumar &
Kaushik, LLC, a Certified Personal Trainer, and an aspiring motivational
speaker & life coach. He can be contacted at sk@sameerkumar.com.
Back to Top
|
