QUESTION
I have had sex with several Indian and non-Indian men, and it seems like all the Desi guys are premature ejaculators. My current boyfriend (also Indian) reaches orgasm usually within a minute or two, whereas it takes me much longer. Scientifically, does race/ethnicity have anything to do with consistent premature ejaculation?
ANSWER
The definition of premature ejaculation is rather
subjective. On a broader level it can be described as the inability
to delay ejaculation till the time it is mutually desired by both
the parties. One scenario could be that ejaculation occurs immediately
upon penetration. In the other scenario ejaculation occurs within
5 to 10 minutes of starting coitus – which may also be too
soon for both partners.
Could premature ejaculation be more prevalent in certain communities?
Objective studies supporting this case are hard to find. But, theoretically,
there are a number of arguments that are supportive. In some cultures,
masturbation and sex are considered taboo. Adolescents in these
communities may rush through masturbation, climaxing quickly. That’s
a habit hard to break even when the man is grown and engages in
normal sex. If Bollywood movies are any indication, sex is not easily
discussed in Indian families. So, it stands to reason that Indian
men could have deep-rooted negative or dirty feelings about sex
… that get translated into premature ejaculation with their
partner in an effort to be done with the deed.
Illnesses such as long-standing hypertension or diabetes, and medications
such as those used to treat depression, can lead to sexual dysfunction.
Some medical problems are found more frequently in certain races.
For example, studies have shown that in the U.S. the incidence of
diabetes is higher in Black Americans and Mexican Americans. It
stands to reason that they would then suffer more frequently from
the side-effects of their disease or of the medications they are
taking.
Here is an interesting factor to note. There is a psychiatric
condition described in the psychiatric literature that occurs only
among South Asian men. It is known as the Dhat syndrome. Essentially,
men ejaculate excessively – either through masturbation, excessive
nocturnal emissions, or through their urine (yes, their urine).
These men feel that they are losing vital nutrients through their
semen (remember this is a psych diagnosis) and subsequently develop
complaints such as fatigue, weakness, and sleeplessness. In time,
these young men tend to avoid marriage and subsequently sex because
they do not want to ejaculate and exacerbate their malaise. If they
do find themselves in a sexual encounter, they tend to suffer from
impotence or premature ejaculation because they have such a strong
psychological aversion to losing their semen.
So … there you go, maybe there really is something to this
whole culture thing.
QUESTION
How do I avoid getting pregnant? I have a regular menstrual cycle.
Are the 5 days before and 5 days after a period the best time for
intercourse, regardless of the birth control measures I take, and
assuming the man does not use a condom?
ANSWER
Natural family planning, as you have described, is the act of abstaining
from sex during the time that you are likely to be fertile. To start
off with, once you have ovulated, we know that the egg remains viable
for 12–24 hours. Sperm can hang around for as long as 72 hours.
So, with that in mind, we know that you need to abstain from intercourse
for at least 3 days before and after you ovulate. Count day 1 as
the first day of your period. Most women ovulate by day 12–14
of their cycle (so 12–14 days after the start of your period).
To be on the safe side, most methods will suggest that you refrain
from sex for days 8 through 19 of your cycle. If used correctly
in women who have normal cycles, the success rate is anywhere from
90 to 98%.
A slightly more scientific way to approach natural family planning
is to be aware of the changes in your body that suggest you are
ovulating. For example, cervical mucus thickening, tender breasts,
or pelvic pain can indicate ovulation. Or you can determine your
basal body temperature by measuring your temperature every morning
right as you wake up. A bump in your temperature, of at least 0.4
degrees Fahrenheit for 48 hours, signals ovulation.
Natural family planning is definitely an inexpensive form of contraception.
It avoids the use of medications and does not delay your chances
of getting pregnant once you are ready (as Depo Provera, a contraceptive
injection given every three months, can). However, if it is not
followed to the letter, its efficacy will fall well below 90–98%.
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