Parenting

By Ashini J. Desai

Television's Impact on our Children

When the heat wave brings your children back into the air conditioning this summer, they might head for the remote control. With digital cable, DVDs, video games and more, they could be occupied for hours. Occasional movie and television viewing is perfectly acceptable. However, excessive exposure may lead to less physical activity and more obesity and aggression. In addition, content might not be suitable for a child’s age level and could influence his or her attitude toward sex, violence, tobacco, alcohol, and drugs. The media tend to portray the lighter aspects of these issues without addressing the responsibility involved in making decisions.

A report, “Zero to Six: Electronic Media in the Lives of Infants, Toddlers, and Preschoolers,” conducted by the Kaiser Family Foundation and the Children’s Digital Media Centers found that 26 percent of children under two have a television in their bedroom, and children in households where television is on “always” or “most of the time” are less likely to read everyday and spend less time reading overall than children in households with stricter television

restrictions. Even more disturbing is the report’s discovery that children in “heavy” television households are less likely to be able to read than other children. However, nearly half of all parents believe in the educational value of television and movies and often use them to help children learn in an entertaining way.

I admit that I use television as a temporary babysitter when I need to do something else and can’t spend quality time with my child. One difficult moment once occurred when I was setting up the VCR and a commercial for Fear Factor flashed across the screen. My then three-year-old asked me why they poured bugs on a girl. I told her it was a game that wasn’t real, and I quickly turned off the television. If that commercial gives me nightmares, I don’t know what a child’s overactive imagination might take from it.

Though we control what children watch, we can’t always control what they see. Therefore, parents need to monitor their children’s interaction with media.

For Infants and Toddlers
The American Academy of Pediatrics does not recommend television for children less than two years old, and toddlers should be limited to a maximum of two hours a day of quality children's programming.

There are videos geared towards infants, like the Baby Einstein videos, which have alluring and soothing colors and music. Teletubbies has also established itself as a popular television show for babies and young children. The characters are playful, and children identify with the Teletubbies, who look and act like big wobbly, diapered babies. The repetitive structure of the program helps children absorb the actions, yet the lack of instructive dialogue on the program could detract from promoting verbal skills. Essentially, children need face to face time to learn language and social skills.

Dora the Explorer and Blue’s Clues fired the trend of interactive learning experiences for toddlers and preschoolers. The characters in these shows ask for feedback and simulate responses to your little ones. Other programs, like Disney’s Jojo’s Circus and Doodlebops, encourage dancing and physical activity segments to motivate children to move off the couch. Even Sesame Street advocates physical fitness, and Cookie Monster has moved towards healthier eating habits. These types of shows are safe and enjoyable options to keep your toddler engaged.

For Preschoolers and Elementary-aged Children
Kids sometimes think they are older than they are, but not everything is acceptable for their age groups. For example, a six-year-old boy may act mature and talk tough, but certain movies might still give him nightmares because separating reality and fantasy is hard for children. While there are ratings and parental guidelines to aid parents, we must also be the best advocates for our children by keeping ourselves fully informed.

Bollywood Music and Films
In spite of all the Baby Mozart and classical music we might make them listen to, South Asian kids still come back to Bollywood music and videos. Children are attracted to them–the songs are light and punchy, the colors are bright and the dances are fun. In fact, these elements make Bollywood successful in crossing language and age barriers. However, there is no rating system to identify which films are violent or contain sexual content.

The current trend of provocative Bollywood music videos makes them unsuitable for young children. At the risk of sounding like my own aunty, the videos are pushing the limit with revealing costumes and risqué dances. Bollywood has always had sexy sirens like Helen and Zeenat Aman, but the extent to which children were exposed to sexuality in these films was kept in check. Now, grandparents often subscribe to satellite channels to connect with South Asia, or a “Hot Hits” DVD is playing on a big-screen television at a party. It is hard for parents to enjoy Bollywood’s popular songs with their children because they find the videos are too erotic for their children to watch.

We would not plop our children in front of MTV or BET videos, yet we casually let them watch the latest Bollywood videos. The kids love the songs, music and swiveling their hips, and some parents encourage the dances. It is cute to an extent, but the children are mimicking the motions and words without understanding what they are doing.

The challenge for us is to find alternatives that are more tasteful, age-appropriate expressions that honor our South Asian heritage. These videos present a distorted version of our “culture.” We need to step back and see how children might interpret these images. Then, we need to step up and make changes. There are more authentic alternatives that show South Asian history and culture. My daughter, for example, enjoys watching Krunal Music DVDs that has children singing and dancing to the traditional songs she learnt from her grandmother.

Hollywood Movies
Despite the Motion Picture Association of America’s ratings guidelines, parents still have a difficult time guiding their children’s movie selections. Extensive marketing and merchandising of movies, through avenues such as kid’s meals at fast food restaurants, attract children for whom movies might not be suitable. Young children know Harry Potter and Spiderman through merchandising, although the movies may be too scary for their age group.

Also, you might be uncomfortable with the type of themes and images in a film despite its rating! For example, we were invited by other parents of preschoolers to see The Chronicles of Narnia. We declined to bring our daughter along and saw the movie without her. When we got to the theater, the audience was filled with children and we first felt guilty for not bringing

her. Later, we were pleased with our decision—this Disney movie had a tortured death scene and savage, fantastical creatures engaged in an armed battle. This would have been much too frightening, just like the shark scene in Finding Nemo, which often causes the preschoolers to hide.

Another genre is the animated film, like Shrek and Shark Tales. The filmmakers have learned that adults enjoy the subtle humor of a film with their children—a wonderful idea. Yet, some moviemakers have forgotten there are children in the audience, too. They are the ones echoing lines from Shark Tales, such as “You want a piece of me?” on the playgrounds.

Some animated movies have the PG rating, but parents assume animated movies are for all ages. In most cases, the child may not even understand the humor or plot. In that case, who was this movie for—you or them?

Recommendations
Watch television together. This will show you care for your children’s interests. You can even use the opportunity to impart your own values. For example, during American Idol, remark that Simon’s insults are part of the performance and the show. In real life, people should be treated with more respect and politeness.

Don’t be afraid to change the channel. My parents changed the channel or sent us out of the room during Three’s Company or Love Boat. Even shows that are usually acceptable may have an episode that is inappropriate for young ones, so always keep an eye on what they’re watching.

Set time limits. The obvious recommendation is to limit the hours spent on any electronic media. Perhaps it is permitted on weekends only, so weekdays are focused on school and extracurricular activities. The initial withdrawal symptoms are intense and may last a week or two. Children may not know what to do right away, so suggest activities such as sports, school clubs, or scouts. Throw out ideas and see what catches their attention. They may just want to sit in their room and make model trains or bead necklaces—this is fine. Afterwards, the kids will see the benefits of other activities. They will also value their television time by watching specific programs, rather than channel surfing.

Read, read, read. Take your child and their friends to the library to make it a social activity.

Play games or sports. As kids get older, set aside a family game night pulling out old-fashioned board games or backyard games. Not only does it give family time together, it is an opportunity to teach children good sportsmanship.

Do your research. Before you take your kids to the movies this summer, visit a site like MovieMom.com and see if it is appropriate for your child’s age. Now, when your ten-year-old wants to see The Devil Wears Prada or Pirates of the Caribbean with school friends, you will be prepared. (The website suggests that both The Devil Wears Prada and Pirates of the Caribbean are suitable for ages 14 and 12, respectively.) Being better informed will help you make better decisions.

Kick back with the classics. There are timeless movies that appeal to all ages such as The Sound of Music, Mary Poppins, Annie, and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. It’s a great feeling to see your child share the same excitement and delight with movies that hold memories for you. If you can’t sing High School Musical with them, at least you know the words to “My Favorite Things.”

Look for quality DVDs and videos. Encourage children to learn their history and culture and be entertained. Use the Web to find family-oriented South Asian DVDs and videos on sites like Rediff.com. Other sites, IndiaParenting.com and HindiKids.com, offer educational videos in multiple languages, while Indolink.com offers folk stories on interactive CDs.

Keep it in the family (room). Let the electronic media (television, computers, videos) stay in the family room. Watching an occasional movie in the bedroom might be fine. Over time though, children isolate themselves and become difficult to monitor if using electronic media alone becomes the norm.

Finally, set a good example for your children. Turn off the television, step away from the computer, and put away your Blackberry. It may seem like a perfect work-home balance to be in the room using an electronic device; however, though you are physically in the room, you are not all there. Even though we are a generation raised on School House Rock and MTV, we know the media change quickly. Media are forms of entertainment that can be educational, but will not raise our children. As involved parents, we must guide our children toward appropriate television shows to make the experience more enjoyable and worthwhile.

Ashini J. Desai is a software professional, full-time mother and wife, and a creative writer for various websites, including her own blogsite, www.ashinid.blogspot.com.

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