Eye on Events

By Meera Jegathesan

Ten Tips for a Successful South Asian Wedding

If you are of South Asian origin in the United States like me, you’ve probably been to a South Asian wedding or two in your lifetime. Weren’t you amazed by not only how beautiful and cultural each wedding turned out to be, but also by how such a complicated and detail-oriented event was orchestrated thousands of miles away from South Asia? Since South Asian weddings are becoming more common in the United States, you as a bride or groom must be aware of not only the rituals but also the obstacles that could make planning a wedding less than enjoyable. Here are ten helpful tips and topics to weigh if you are planning a South Asian wedding either now or in the distant future!

1) Choosing a South Asian Wedding. Is a traditional South Asian wedding important to you, your future spouse, and your families? How much do you want to incorporate cultural and religious traditions into the ceremony? If both you and your future spouse are South Asian, what are the different traditions of each of your heritages that you would want to include in a wedding? Perhaps if you and your fiancée are from different cultures or religions, you might want to somehow integrate both cultures and religions into the event. Ask your families and religious leaders for advice and make sure a traditional South Asian wedding is right for you.

2) Lead the Way. The officiant is the religious or legal figure that conducts the rituals of any wedding ceremony. Ask for recommendations from friends and family members that may have used an officiant in the past or consult a religious institution. Check the officiant’s availability for the date of your wedding and ask him or her questions to learn more about the rituals of the ceremony. Another consideration for couples marrying in the United States is that many of your guests might not be South Asian. If your officiant can explain each part of the ceremony in English, your guests will be better able to follow the ceremony.

3) The Right Time. Many South Asian cultures time special life events around auspicious dates based upon religious and astrological factors. For example, Sikh weddings are normally held in the mornings while Muslims like to marry on Sundays but avoid the sacred month of Ramadan for weddings. Consult your officiant or families for advice in this area, as this could be a major factor in your wedding planning.

4) Long or Short? A traditional South Asian wedding ceremony can last for hours because of the many rituals that take place; some rituals can even span the course of a few days. A Hindu ceremony can involve over ten distinct parts in which a priest might recite mantras and lead the bride and groom through specific activities. Determine a timeline for the day(s) of your wedding, and if you are on a tight schedule, ask your religious officiant to shorten the ceremony in order to keep you on track.

5) Location Limitations. Finding the perfect venue for a South Asian wedding can be challenging due to the specific customs and rituals involved.

Big or Small? Weddings in South Asia are traditionally large (often exceeding a thousand guests) but can be difficult to plan in the United States, for example, where such an event could cost more than it would in most South Asian locales. Consider the pros and cons of having a big wedding and make your venue selection accordingly. A wedding for a thousand guests in the United States could run your budget upwards of hundreds of thousands of dollars and limit your options to a large hotel or convention center.

Lower the Bar. South Asian weddings are filled with different rituals and traditions, but your venue might not allow you to have free reign. A religious site will likely allow rituals to take place, but other venues might present obstacles. For example, Hindu wedding ceremonies center around a holy fire (Agni) into which items such as rice are thrown as the priest recites mantras. Some venues in Western countries might not allow an open fire in an indoor space for safety reasons. Also be aware of any special décor that a religious ceremony might require and see if there are venue restrictions. A Hindu wedding altar (Mandap) might exceed ten feet in height, so a banquet room with higher ceilings might be necessary. Make sure your venue has no noise restrictions, should you have loud music at your wedding. Finally, understand your venue’s catering regulations if you plan to cater South Asian food at a venue that is not South Asian.

6) Dress It Up. Every South Asian wedding I’ve attended involves beautiful clothing and stunning jewelry. A bride might wear a lehenga, salwar kameez or saree while a groom might wear a kurta pajama suit and a headpiece. Perhaps a bride or groom might need two outfits or more during the ceremony itself. If you are a South Asian bride marrying in a Christian or Catholic ceremony, you might choose to wear a white saree or dress, while the groom may don a tuxedo or suit.

7) Special Accessories. Ask yourself how much décor you want in your wedding hall. Traditional décor involves an altar area surrounded by flowers and light. Many South Asian brides and grooms today choose a color scheme for their entire wedding and use this color(s) in their clothing and wedding hall décor. Flowers are a main part of any South Asian wedding and many florists in America are becoming more accustomed to supplying floral décor for South Asian weddings. Display statues and hang paintings and tapestries depicting important religious deities and events in the wedding hall for a more unique backdrop. Your wedding décor should reflect a combination of your religious, cultural and personal tastes in a celebratory yet respectful way.

8) More Events. South Asian wedding festivities often span several days and could involve at least two or three additional events in addition to the actual ceremony. South Asian Hindu, Sikh and Muslim weddings include a Mehendi ceremony, at which the bride’s hands and feet are decorated with henna designs. Perhaps you might hold a Sangeet, at which friends and family members perform for the bride and groom. If you are holding multiple events as part of your wedding, consider placing all of them in the actual wedding venue in order to get a cost break on rental fees.

9) Dining Do’s and Don’ts. No South Asian wedding would be complete without a full assortment of food and drink. However, be aware of religious, cultural and dietary restrictions. For example, some religions may prohibit meat or alcohol to be served for guests at a wedding. Hire a caterer that has a diverse menu and have ample amounts of vegetarian and non-vegetarian foods. Determine whether you want to have buffet or plated meal based on your number of guests. You might choose to serve food during the ceremony itself if it is lengthy or have beverages and light snacks available in a separate room. Since traditional South Asian foods are heavy, many brides and grooms today are choosing to infuse South Asian tastes into American or European foods for lighter options. In the end, the choice is yours!

10) Tech Tips. Technology doesn’t have to compromise tradition at a South Asian wedding. If you’re afraid that a long ceremony will prevent your audience from paying attention, project the ceremony live onto a large screen for a closer view. Make sure you have a strong sound system in the wedding ceremony area so that the music and rituals can be heard clearly. Rent a cordless microphone for the officiant so that his or her voice can be projected loudly and clearly. Finally, most traditional South Asian weddings incorporate live music into the ceremony and reception; however, you might hire a DJ to play music during not only the reception but the ceremony too. There are many DJs today that provide huge selections of traditional and popular South Asian music at an affordable cost.

As you can see, it’s relatively easy to hold a South Asian wedding in a country like the United States if you are aware of what to expect and what resources are available. Getting help from friends, family, and religious officials can also keep you more educated and aware. South Asian weddings have come a long way so embrace your culture and capabilities!

Meera Jegathesan works as a sales manager and event planner for a major hotel company in the San Francisco Bay Area. She always thinks outside the box and her next big idea is just around the corner.

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