Health and Wellness

By Sameer Kumar

Stuck in a rut? Got goals?

Epiphanies are fantastic! Well, most of them are. There’s always that one epiphany–, we’ve all had it–, when we realize we’re stuck in a rut, have nothing to look forward to and have no plan in place to change our current situation. For many of us that becomes a perfect reason to sink into a state of despair and depression. For others (that’s you and me, by the way), it’s opportunity knocking.

Since you’re reading this article, you are most likely an optimist who cares about the future. You know that without goals and direction, you cannot have the future you envision. You also know that an investment of just a few hours can reap years of happiness, contentment and accomplishment. If you’ve made it this far, reach across the desk and grab yourself a pen and paper because change can happen in an instant, and you must take “immediate and tangible” action to set that change in motion.

But you’re saying, “Sameer, I’ve been doing my positive thinking, and I’ve been channeling my energy just like the “law of attraction” tells me to do. Nothing has changed, so what action do you want me to take?”

Don’t worry. I agree with you. You have to see the good in every situation and do your positive thinking. But without action, all the opportunities that you’ve attracted through positive thinking and focus are wasted (and trust me, when you focus on the positive, those opportunities arise in abundance). So not only must you take action, but also your actions must be immediate and tangible. Why? Because failure to act changes life from a series of opportunities to a series of missed opportunities.

One of my favorite sayings is, “It’s not what you do in life that you regret, it’s what you don’t do.” Don’t believe me? When you’re 80 years old will you regret skydiving and getting in trouble with your spouse, or not skydiving? Will you regret having started that little coffee shop you always dreamed of, or regret choosing the safety of your 9-5 job? Will you regret having walked up to that guy across the room and risking the possibility of rejection, or will you regret having walked out of that party never knowing if that man could have been the love of your life?

You get the idea so let’s get started on setting our goals. We all fall into one of three categories: 1) Those of us who have set our goals, made a plan and are on the right track to get there, 2) Those of us who set our goals at some point and need to need to revisit those them or 3) Those of us who are stuck in a complete state of inertia and need a swift kick in the butt to get rolling. Get that pen and paper handy – in the next ten minutes you will learn how to set tangible goals that you can act upon immediately.

Below you will find eight steps that will get you started on successful goal-setting. As you go through these steps I want you to keep one thought in mind: “How can I act upon this right now?” Do this for each of the seven steps listed below (the eighth step is to actually “take action”). Goals without action cannot and will not materialize. Don’t get overwhelmed – often, action is something as simple as emailing your resume to a prospective employer, dialing the number of that guy or girl that you never followed up with after your incredible date, purchasing a “how to” book or searching Google for a life coach.

Steps for Successful Goal-Setting
1) Determine your goals and write them down. These can be financial goals, career goals, family goals, fitness goals or anything that you seek to achieve that you haven’t yet. If you’re really stuck on where to start, then think of something you’ve always wanted to have or do. This is not necessarily the Mercedes or the CEO position (although it could be), but instead the wants and desires that won’t leave you alone. That no matter how much you persist in squashing the thoughts and ideas of them, they keep popping up (i.e. the desire to quit your 9-5 and backpack through Europe, to try your hand at acting in spite of the fact that your family wants you to become a doctor, to live in a small-town in India and contribute your time to the betterment of humankind instead of worrying about your net worth).

2) Illustrate & visualize your goals. Once you’ve written them down, make your goals real through illustration and visualization. This step is quite enjoyable if you put in the effort. For material goals pull out pictures of the items you want and put them on your fridge or on your mirror. For career or success goals, develop a website or a business card as if you are already there. For more personal goals set a reminder of a daily action you must take or a thought you must have. You may say that I’m going to call my brother every night at 8 p.m. and have an alarm go off or you may decide that every night you will deliver food to someone who you know is having a tough time financially. Set a reminder to do that every day. The logic behind this approach is that although we speak in words, we think in images.

When people ask you what you do, tell them that you are already an actor or a pianist, that you volunteer or whatever it is that you seek to accomplish. Tell people that you live where you dream of living, that you drive the car that you dream of driving. Is this lying? Of course it is. But the great thing is that people won’t question you. In fact chances are they’ll ask you more about what you do or have. When you put yourself out there as having already accomplished a goal, you will automatically drive yourself towards actually achieving that goal.

I remember that a few years ago I decided to try this out, and I was terrified because I knew it’d be a blatant lie. I started by telling everyone I was an “aspiring” motivational speaker. I felt that I was weaseling out of the exercise. So I then told everyone that I WAS a motivational speaker. No one questioned me. Not a soul. Instead people were intrigued and wanted to know more. I didn’t really have more. All I had was that one sentence. Guess what, it forced me to do more to move towards my goal and there is no doubt that I am exponentially closer to my goals now than if I had never had the guts to voice my dreams and aspirations as if there were already true.

3) Determine WHY. This is actually the most important element in goal setting. Goals without purpose are destined to fail. By "fail" I mean that they will not bring you the satisfaction and gratification that purposeful goals do.

A few years ago I had a fitness training company and was working with this woman who was about 5’4” and 150 pounds. Before working with clients, I would always ask them two questions. First, “What are your fitness goals?” Ninety-nine percent of the time they would want to lose weight. The second question was, “What are three things will you be able to do after you lose the weight that you cannot do now?” The weight-loss was the goal. The second question was the WHY and usually stumped them.

I remember when I asked this woman those questions she turned and asked if I could just train her that day and she would give me an answer before our next session. She came in the next evening and said, “I’ll be able to dance.” I looked at her and said, “But you walk perfectly, you don’t seem to have any injuries. You can dance perfectly without losing the weight.” She said, “Yes, I have no physical reason I can’t dance now but I really love to dance, and if I lose the weight I’ll never wonder whether people are thinking ‘Wow, look at that girl dance’ or ‘Wow, look how fat that girl is.’” It was probably the best WHY I’d ever heard. Needless to say she lost the weight, kept it off and is dancing away.

4) Focus on what you want and state your goals in the positive. I’d ask you to close your eyes and try this exercise but it might make reading a bit difficult. I want you to pay attention to the first thing that pops into your head when you read the following three sentences:
a. I will no longer work at a small cubicle for 80 hours a week!
b. I refuse to drink soda, eat pepperoni pizza and devour chocolate ice cream anymore!
c. I do not want to drive a beat-up old blue rusty 1987 Honda Accord any longer!

If you’re like most people you saw someone slaving away at a cubicle, pictured some really unhealthy food and could almost hear the busted engine on a broken-down car. See, the mind does not process negatives such as “no longer,” “refuse” and “do not.” Even though what you intend to communicate is one thing the brain is seeing the very thing you want to avoid. It therefore becomes imperative that you focus upon what you do want and not on what you don’t want. Read the following three statements and you’ll understand exactly what I mean.
a. I am going to work in New York City and have a windowed corner on the 44th floor with a gorgeous view of Central Park!
b. I am 115 pounds of lean muscle with a rock-hard six-pack to boot!
c. How sweet is my new 2008 cherry red Porsche 911!

5) Use your GPS. Goal setting works exactly like a GPS. You decide where you want to go, punch the address into your GPS, and it determines where you’re starting from and then calculates all the steps to get to your destination. The only distinction in goal-setting will be that instead of the GPS telling you how long it will be before you get to the next step, it will be you who sets the deadlines to get to each step.

What happens when you miss a turn or turn the wrong way? The GPS recalculates and reroutes you toward the exact same destination. When you veer off course, keep the end goal in mind and simply reroute as necessary. However, if you don’t have a clue what your destination is, there is no GPS in the world that can get you there.

6) Break down your large goals into smaller, actionable steps. Big goals can often take years – some even take decades to accomplish. This is hard to swallow in a society that has become accustomed to instantaneous and superficial results. So how do you keep yourself on track and motivated when your goals are measured in years instead of nanoseconds? You break the goal down into steps where success can be measured daily, weekly and monthly. There are two benefits to this approach. First, it will break what may seem like one daunting goal into hundreds, maybe even thousands, of attainable mini-goals. The second benefit is that as you accomplish each mini-goal, your sense of accomplishment will serve as the motivation and encouragement towards the next mini-goal and so forth. Remember, success breeds success.

7) Do not confuse action with progress. Action is necessary for progress, but progress is not necessarily the result of action. Be careful that you are actually completing the mini-goals that I referred to in step six. Many of us make calls, send emails, shuffle papers and at the end of the day, week or month are no closer to our goals than when we started. Have a measurable component to each day’s work and be sure to assess whether that component was completed, whether you are now closer to the accomplishment of that component or have ignored it all together or even moved further away. Constant assessment will keep you on track.

8) Take action. Unless you are seizing opportunities and acting upon them, your goals will remain aspirations rather than become reality. If you are stuck in a state of inertia or have hit a plateau, then find someone who will be there to help you out or maybe even give you a swift kick when necessary but be sure to consistently take progress-focused action.

Let me leave you with an example of the power of goal-setting. In 1953, researchers conducted a study done on the graduating class at Yale University. They interviewed the entire graduating class to determine how many of them had set their long term goals. This was more than those who simply said they wanted to be doctors or lawyers or run their own companies, but instead those individuals who had determined exactly what they wanted and had mapped out a preliminary strategy to get there. They found that only 3% of the entire graduating class had gone through the effort of identifying and planning their goals.

Twenty years later the researchers once again contacted the graduating class of 1953 and measured the one factor that could be measured with a high degree of certainly to determine the effect of goal-setting. What they found was that the monetary success and income of the 3% was greater than the monetary success and income of the other 97% of the class COMBINED!

Unfortunately, due to the proliferation of the internet and the ease of research it seems that neither I nor anyone else can cite a reference to authenticate this study (although I hear that this 3% was also pretty happy and content with their lives). Maybe it was a different university, maybe it was a different year, a different percentage or maybe it just never happened. Whatever the facts, the point is simple. If you identify and plan your goals, you have an exponentially higher chance of success than those who are floating aimlessly through life hoping, wishing and praying that the actions of others, or the blessings of some superpower, will simply bestow success upon them.

Put down the remote, shut down your computer, pull out a piece of paper, write down what you truly want to accomplish in life and start working on a plan to achieve the goals that have been in your head for years and have been aching to become a reality.

You can download my free audio recording on goal-setting at www.SameerKumar.com/freestuff. In the audio program I go into much greater detail about the goal-setting process and I walk you through actionable exercises that will get you underway to greater success in both your personal and professional life.

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