ANSWER
With the country’s political environment rife with tension,
it’s easy to understand why the question of bipartisanship would
seep into your dating life! Many singles feel strongly about not dating
outside their party, since the party you choose to affiliate yourself
with usually says a lot about you.
But it is possible for blue and red singles to get
along. If your new friend is fiscally conservative and has a traditional
Republican theory on taxes – that might not be a deal-breaker
for you. Sure, you may not agree that there should be less federal
spending and more tax cuts, but at the end of the day, you have to
be respectful of each others’ opinions – and sometimes,
you just have to agree to disagree!
On the other hand, if he is socially conservative – that might
be harder to get over. For instance, if his beliefs are staunchly
pro-life or anti-gay-marriage, it may not be as easy for you to agree
to disagree! His stance on social issues is representative of his
core beliefs, which will inevitably surface in all sorts of situations.
It is necessary to share the same fundamental value system to build
a successful relationship together.
In order to figure out if the two of you are compatible, you’ll
have to decide what issues matter the most to each of you and what
side of those issues you're on. You may find that you agree on the
critical things that are important to a potential relationship and
future together. And if not, you’ll realize you are building
a bridge to nowhere and will be better off moving on!
QUESTION
I am single, but the circle of friends that I hang out with most often
consists of married couples. I am pretty close to most of these people
and have known them for a long time. Here’s the problem: One
of the guys in the group – a married man – has been hitting
on me. It’s very subtle, but definitely there. His wife, with
whom I am very close, has been stressed out with work and has been
very busy lately, so I’m not sure if that’s why. I tried
ignoring it at first, but that hasn’t made it go away. This
is all making me very uncomfortable, but I don’t know what to
do because I don’t want things to get weird. Help!
ANSWER
Now here’s a situation Mom never prepared you for! This definitely
sounds uncomfortable and as much as you don’t want things to
get weird, it seems as if they already have. If you’re like
me, the thought of confronting him might make you want to throw up,
but think about how much more dire the consequences of not confronting
him are. You don’t want the situation to get so out of control
that you feel uncomfortable hanging out with your own friends!
Speak to him in private and tell him the truth about
how you feel. Ask him what is going on, since this behavior seems
relatively new. Maybe he and his wife are on the outs; this wouldn’t
make his actions okay, but it would give you an explanation. Don’t
just have a discussion with him, though; be sure to lay down the rules,
too. Tell him that if he doesn’t stop hitting on you, you’re
going to have to let his wife know about his behavior. That should
do the trick. Good luck!
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