More relevant to today,
those who are in transition may find themselves lost. I know that
I felt that way when I left home and went to college in 1990. In
that spirit, I hope to share with you my journey of losing my religion
(the title of an old R.E.M. song) and finding faith.
Bread and Butter of Religion
Mahatma Gandhi once said, “To the poor, God can only appear
as bread and butter.” To me, this means that what we see as
God only has significance for us if this God speaks directly to
our lives. Religion is a way we explain the bigger picture of the
world we live in and the events that take place in our lives.
For me, this “bread and butter” has
come to my life in many forms. My parents immigrated to the United
States from India in the 1960s, a time when the cultural gaps between
India and the United States were wide. Having strong pride in their
identities, my parents raised me as a Hindu. Growing up, I learned
about the various deities in which Hindus believe: Ganesha
(the remover of obstacles), Shiva (the God of destruction),
Vishnu (the savior, who has had many incarnations throughout
world history) and Saraswati (the Goddess of education
and learning). I participated in poojas, which are special
ceremonies dedicated to a particular deity. I was taught to not
eat meat on religious holidays and not to wear shoes inside a home
or religious building. I also learned, in honor of Goddess Saraswati,
that I should give books and learning material my highest respects.
To this day, I never sit or step on a book or pencil, and if I do,
I (discreetly) touch the book and then my forehead as a form of
religious repentance.
Yet, having grown up in a southern U.S. state
in the aftermath of the Jim Crow era, identifying with Hinduism
labeled me as “different.” Additionally, balancing the
desires of my traditional South Asian family with American values
put me in a state of confusion with regards to finding answers to
life’s big questions.
While I practiced and identified with Hinduism
in high school, when I entered college, I started to seek new sources
for “bread and butter.” In other words, I needed something
beyond Hindu rituals and symbols to pull me through the ups and
downs of college life.
So, when a dorm friend invited me to attend a
Bible study, I immediately accepted. I found my experience there
extremely fulfilling. During these weekly meetings, we would read
scripture from the Bible and discuss how it applied to our own lives.
One time, we read a passage from the Gospel of
Matthew 6:26 in the Bible, which says, “Look at the birds
in the sky. They don't plant or harvest or gather food into barns,
and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.” Often experiencing
high anxiety over test-taking at that time, reading this passage
over and over again helped me calm down and take on my coursework
with strength and conviction. This is something that Hinduism had
not been able to do for me.
Nevertheless, I did not convert to Christianity.
Rather, I continued to identify with Hinduism, while turning to
the Bible to make sense of life’s trials and tribulations.
The Dinosaur and the Devil
Toward the end of college and during my first few years in the professional
world, I became more involved with the Christian church. I attended
Sunday services and continued attending Bible study. I also enjoyed
the community of caring people. I slowly considered converting to
Christianity.
But the Universe had bigger plans for me. Soon,
many church members began knocking down my upbringing as well as
my identity. They said that I couldn’t fully gain the benefits
of Christianity without renouncing Hinduism. “It is a cult,
because you worship idols,” they said.
You see, even though Hinduism didn’t completely
fulfill me, I did not feel I should turn my back on it.
In addition to pressuring me to abandon Hinduism,
the church—I began to realize—had a very narrow view
of the world and wanted everyone to adopt this tunnel vision. Those
who didn’t adopt its small way of thinking would burn in Hell,
congregants professed. For example, the church members opposed pop
music, R-rated movies, and books written by non-Christian authors.
Many even rejected the scientific concept of evolution, saying it
was a product of the Devil. Some even went as far as saying that
they believed the Devil planted dinosaur fossils to trick humans
into disbelieving Jesus Christ’s place as the Son of God.
Transition and Transformation
After these series of incidences, I faded away from the church.
I couldn’t be part of something that forbade me from exploring
the world around me and judged those with even slightly different
views as lost souls who needed to be saved.
Yet, over the years, I continued reading the Bible
and missed the sense of community that the church offered. I’d
visit Hindu temples but never felt like they provided my bread and
butter. I tried to read the Bhagavad-Gita (the sacred Hindu
text) but did not feel the passages spoke to my life in these times.
During tough times, I turned to several sources:
Buddhism, meditation or just reading books of various modern philosophers
such as Marianne Williamson, Dr. Wayne W. Dyer and Deepak Chopra.
With regards to community, I felt sustained with a sisterhood of
friends I developed through various settings.
Then suddenly, last year, I found myself at a
major crossroads once again. For a brief period, I tried a Christian
church again but saw a repeat of the same closed-minded world view.
For example, the group had a prayer asking for Tibetan Buddhists
to be saved from the hands of Satan.
A Universal Religion
I was then led to the Unitarian Universalist Church. Having had
bad experiences with organized religion before, I was a bit hesitant
of fully jumping into this religion.
However, I soon found out that this was the direction
I was looking for. Similar to Hinduism, it accepts that there are
many paths to truth and understanding the world. Some members are
atheists and don’t even believe in God. Others come from Christian,
Jewish, Muslim or Buddhist roots. Yet, they all have a common interest
in learning each other’s ideas and faiths in a mutually respectful
manner. A Unitarian Universalist (UU) does not have to renounce
his or her background and, in fact, other church members want to
learn about everyone’s background to help enhance their own
faiths.
The church itself is structured like a Christian
church in the sense that there is a minister, a Sunday sermon and
choirs. There is also a community of caring individuals who come
to your aid in times of need.
UUs also have a major focus on community activism
such as fighting for affordable housing, universal healthcare and
world peace.
Critics of UU often complain that we lack cohesiveness
and would accept anything – even religions that promote evil.
But the truth is, we do follow a set of seven principles, which
includes “honoring the inherent worth and dignity of every
person; justice, equity and compassion in human relations and respect
for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.”
Since joining, I’ve had a chance to participate
in a Jewish Seder (a dinner ritual that celebrates the journey of
the Israelites from Egyptian slavery), learned about Transcendentalists
like Ralph Waldo Emerson, gotten some exposure to Sufism and learned
about authors and philosophers from a wide range of modern and ancient
traditions. I’ve also had a chance to teach the group about
Hinduism, and recently took a group of congregants on a tour of
the Hindu temple.
To me, being a part of the Unitarian church has
been most fulfilling, not only because of the wealth of knowledge
I receive, but also the knowledge I have been able to impart upon
others. This has given me true meaning and purpose in my life and
served as my bread and butter.
We all need some direction in our lives as well
as a source of stability in times of turbulence. I’ve found
this through the Unitarian Universalists. I am free to continue
identifying with Hinduism, while also getting the opportunity to
learn about and apply principles from a wide variety of traditions
without committing to one.
The views expressed in this section are those of
the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of ABCDlady.
Devika Koppikar is a communications consultant
in Washington, DC. She encourages all South Asians who are seeking
more purpose in their lives to consider learning more about Unitarian
Universalists. For more information, please visit http://www.uua.org.
E-mail Devika at devika_koppikar@hotmail.com.
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