Building Meaningful Relationships as an Adult

Do you feel like the best friends you have are from childhood, high school or college? Do you feel disconnected from people as you have gotten older, with more responsibilities and friends and family scattered across the country? Do you wish you could meet more people and build a network of friends as an adult?

Friendships are an important part of life. Having deep, meaningful connections and a support system help with both your physical and mental health. They boost your immune system and help curb depression and anxiety. But how do you go about building such relationships as an adult?

Meet people doing activities you are passionate about. We often relate to people with whom we have a lot in common. Take a class for a hobby you have always wanted to try or join a club for a hobby you already have. Perform some charity work that you have been putting off doing. The more you engage in activities and events that make you happy, the easier it will be to meet people who are passionate about the same things as you. And since you share common interests, it will be easier to get to know each other and develop a connection.

Meet people at work. Most of us spend at least 40 hours a week (if not more) at our jobs, and we therefore spend a lot of time with our co-workers. Even if you don’t love your job, there are probably people there with whom you might make a connection. Invite them out to lunch, talk about work-related topics and begin to share a little bit about your life outside of work. The more you share, the stronger your connection will become.

Take a risk and reach out. Friendships are often built by taking a risk and reaching out to someone. Whether it is chatting with your neighbors, joking around with someone at the office picnic or calling up a casual acquaintance to meet for coffee, building friendships as an adult requires taking a chance. Not everybody will respond or turn into a really close friend, but it will be worth the risk for the ones who do.

Realize it takes work to build a strong connection. Deep, meaningful friendships and relationships take time to develop. Although there may be a spark of chemistry between two people, it will not lead to the deeper connection you desire if it is not nurtured and developed. Call to check in on friends, ask them what is really going on and be there for them in their times of need. Just as intimate relationships take time and effort to build, so do good, solid friendships.

Photo by Camilo Morales

Be curious. People always want to feel heard and listened to. Ask questions. Be curious to learn about people. You can always learn something new from a person. The more effort you put into any interaction or new friendship, using it as an opportunity to learn something new and expand your mind, the more you will be able to connect in a relaxed and open manner. The more open you are, the more people will feel accepted. Judgment can really limit the type of people you meet, as well as how deeply you can connect with them. Stay open to all types of people, because you never know with whom you might develop a strong bond.

Let go of friendships that are no longer working. Sometimes, we don’t have the time or energy to develop new friendships because we are investing so much time in people who no longer serve us the way they once did. As we get older and move into different phases of life – marriage, parenthood, business ownership – what we want or need out of our friendships may change. Even though old connections may be a source of comfort and security, they may no longer be serving your real needs. Take the time to assess whether you really enjoy spending time with some of your old friends. If you don’t, begin to limit the energy you put into those friendships and invest that time in getting to know new people.

Meeting and developing new friends as an adult does not need to be a difficult process. Being open-minded, taking risks and being willing to connect are the only things required to making and building the connections you desire.

Monica Thakrar is a health and wellness coach focused on helping clients live a more balanced and joyful life. She helps clients achieve wellness from the inside out. Sign up for a free consultation today to begin taking steps towards your health and wellness goals. Monica can be contacted at monica@joyfulsoulcoaching.com or for more information check out her website at www.joyfulsoulcoaching.com.