Christmas in a Non-Christian Home

My three-and-a-half-year old daughter Yasmina asked me if Santa ever made it to India (my homeland) or Jordan (my husband’s homeland) and, if so, wouldn’t it make sense for Santa to drive a Smart Car and not a sleigh? After all, that’s a lot of miles for those poor reindeer to fly, and a regular car would need so much gasoline!

I told her Santa travels in his sleigh to children all over the world, not just here in the United States—but her question got me thinking. Do many non-Christian families celebrate Christmas? If so, exactly how do they do it? Is there a simple but meaningful way to celebrate the holidays in a non-Christian home without confusing the children?

There is no right answer to any of these questions, and families should make decisions based on what works best for them. I want to recognize Christmas and celebrate it in a way that meshes well with my family’s life and beliefs. My husband and I are not Christian, but this does not mean we cannot see the beauty and wonder in Christmas. The holidays are a special time filled with good tidings and cheer—and who couldn’t use some good tidings and cheer?

I have many fond memories of ripping open Christmas presents as a child under an over-tinseled tree. I have no recollections of questioning my faith as a result. My parents found a way for us to celebrate this holiday without making it a religious occasion. This is a tradition I hope to continue with my own family.

As it turns out, there are many non-Christian families who celebrate Christmas. According to a 2008 Gallup poll, despite the fact that only a little more than 80% of Americans identify with a Christian faith, 93% of those interviewed indicated they celebrate Christmas. Christmas today is a secular holiday as much as a religious one, presenting many opportunities for integrating it into your family’s lifestyle. Here are the ways that my family integrates Christmas into our lives:

To Tree or Not to Tree?
I admit we haven’t put a Christmas tree up the past two years, mostly because I was pregnant and didn’t want to deal with it, and then because we had children so young the tree would have posed a safety issue. This year, the tree will go up again. But it will be simple and small—something just to commemorate the season.

Gift Giving
We will buy each of the girls one present to open on Christmas. They received gifts this year for the other holidays that we celebrate, such as Eid Al Fitr and Eid Al Adha, so this is more of a materialism issue—I don’t want them to start expecting gifts every time a holiday rolls around. But I do want them to experience the thrill of finding something to open when they come downstairs on Christmas morning.

The Spirit of Giving
No matter who you are or what your faith is, it is hard not to notice the spirit of the holidays. Even if you don’t celebrate Christmas, this might be a good time of year to give back. For example, you could volunteer at a soup kitchen or donate toys or gifts to families in need. By all means, involve the children. Let them know that there are many people out there who are going without during the holidays, and that together as a family you will be trying to make a difference. What a wonderful holiday tradition to begin!

Talk About Other Holidays
Christmas is not the only holiday that falls in December. Kwanzaa, Hanukkah and sometimes Eid fall during December. Check out some children’s books from the library about these holidays and learn about them with your kids. It’s important for our kids to know there are people of different faiths around the world celebrating various holidays. Start the process of acceptance and tolerance in your home, and it will be a gift that keeps on giving throughout your child’s life.

There are many ways to celebrate Christmas even if you are not Christian. By picking and choosing what to include and what to leave out, you can embrace this holiday season in your own unique way while still staying true to your lifestyle and beliefs. Living in America, chances are my daughters will be surrounded by friends, classmates and teachers who celebrate Christmas, drink eggnog and write letters to Santa. I want them to be a part of the excitement that is unique to this time of year while still holding true to our belief system. We won’t be heading to church any time soon, but my girls and I will probably be baking (and eating) our fair share of gingerbread cookies this month!

Brinda Abu-Obaid is a stay-at-home mom who lives in Clifton, VA with her husband, Aladin, and her two daughters, Yasmina and Noora.